詩(shī)人Jami Proctor Xu：伴你的靈魂游到不同的藍(lán)

海外文苑

<h5>本刊發(fā)表于紐約【綜合新聞報(bào)】第878期The above was published in New York newspaper Compact News Edtion #878 中英雙語(yǔ)：徐貞敏（Jami Proctor Xu）書法：陳宜浩繪畫：梁策 </h5> <div>編者按：</div><div>徐貞敏（Jami Proctor Xu）的詩(shī)歌，呈現(xiàn)出一種極具辨識(shí)度的“跨文化抒情詩(shī)學(xué)”。她以英語(yǔ)寫作，卻深度融匯漢語(yǔ)意象、中國(guó)古典詩(shī)歌傳統(tǒng)與北美當(dāng)代詩(shī)風(fēng)，在語(yǔ)言、記憶、身體與自然之間建立起流動(dòng)的精神空間。她的詩(shī)既有東方詩(shī)學(xué)的含蓄與空靈，也帶有美國(guó)當(dāng)代女性詩(shī)歌的身體意識(shí)與創(chuàng)傷敘述能力。 這些作品最突出的特點(diǎn)，是“柔性而深刻”的情感力量。無論《水中的微光》中面對(duì)父親離世的水光冥想，《花，哈，魚》里母子記憶與創(chuàng)傷后的回返，還是《水蜘蛛在砂巖上疾走》中關(guān)于癌癥、族裔傳統(tǒng)與愛的編織，她都能把私人經(jīng)驗(yàn)轉(zhuǎn)化為具有普遍性的生命儀式感。她尤其善于通過“光、水、風(fēng)、鳥、花、月”等自然元素，使死亡、創(chuàng)傷、欲望與時(shí)間獲得近乎宗教性的寧?kù)o。 她的語(yǔ)言兼具音樂性與視覺性，常采用碎片化行分割、呼吸式節(jié)奏與顏色疊詞（如“綠藍(lán)綠藍(lán)”），形成輕盈流動(dòng)的詩(shī)歌質(zhì)感。同時(shí)，她又不斷讓中國(guó)文化進(jìn)入英語(yǔ)詩(shī)歌內(nèi)部：杜甫、李商隱、觀音、昆曲、蘇州園林、生肖紀(jì)年等意象，并非裝飾性的“東方元素”，而是成為其情感結(jié)構(gòu)與時(shí)間意識(shí)的一部分。 總體而言，徐貞敏的詩(shī)歌建立了一種“跨語(yǔ)言的親密抒情”：既現(xiàn)代、女性化，又具有古典余韻；既個(gè)人，又連接歷史、族裔與世界。她是近年來華語(yǔ)文化背景英語(yǔ)詩(shī)寫作中極具國(guó)際氣質(zhì)與精神深度的重要詩(shī)人。（佩英）</div><div>Editorials:</div><div>Jami Proctor Xu’s poetry presents a highly distinctive form of “cross-cultural lyric poetics.” Writing primarily in English, she deeply weaves together Chinese imagery, classical Chinese poetic traditions, and contemporary North American poetics, creating fluid spiritual spaces between language, memory, the body, and nature. Her work carries both the restraint and luminosity of Eastern aesthetics and the bodily awareness and emotional intensity of contemporary American women’s poetry. One of the most striking qualities of her work is its gentle yet profound emotional force. Whether in Light in Water, meditating on a father’s passing through shifting reflections of water and light; in Hua, Ha, Yu, where maternal memory intertwines with trauma and return; or in Water Spider Scurries Over Sandstone, where illness, Indigenous tradition, and love are woven together, Xu transforms deeply personal experiences into rituals of universal human feeling. She is especially skilled at using natural elements—light, water, wind, birds, flowers, and moons—to give death, grief, desire, and time an almost sacred stillness. Her language is simultaneously musical and visual. Through fragmented lineation, breath-like rhythms, and repeated color patterns such as “green blue green blue,” she creates a fluid and shimmering poetic texture. At the same time, Chinese culture enters organically into her English poetry: Du Fu, Li Shangyin, Guanyin, Kun opera, Suzhou gardens, and the zodiac calendar are not decorative “Eastern motifs,” but integral parts of her emotional and temporal imagination. Overall, Xu’s poetry establishes a form of “cross-linguistic intimacy”: modern yet classically resonant, deeply feminine yet historically expansive, personal yet connected to ancestry, migration, and the wider world. She stands as one of the most spiritually nuanced and internationally significant poets writing from a Chinese cultural background in contemporary English-language poetry.(By Christine Chen)</div> <h5>徐貞敏（Jami Proctor Xu），美國(guó)雙語(yǔ)詩(shī)人、譯者及國(guó)際詩(shī)歌活動(dòng)組織者，常往返美中。作品與譯作發(fā)表于多國(guó)詩(shī)刊，活躍于多洲詩(shī)歌節(jié)。曾任中國(guó)社科院訪問學(xué)者，組織北師大國(guó)際詩(shī)歌與翻譯工作坊。獲珠江旅華詩(shī)歌獎(jiǎng)、北加州圖書獎(jiǎng)詩(shī)歌翻譯獎(jiǎng)等。著有《輕輕的閃光》《蜂鳥點(diǎn)燃了一顆星星》《突然起舞》，并譯有《星期天的麻雀》《裂開的星球》。</h5> light in water: walnut creek, huangmei 　　for Pan Guodong Ba, you’ll leave us today i feel this as i swim, eyes open in wavering yellow light i swim with your soul to the line where blues touch we have no photograph of your mother, i’ve never seen her face but i feel her here with us in the water even the expressions of her face sky above this sky the yellow light reaches i feel her calling you back the light says: you swam east to be born to enter the year of goat, yin, and water moon full, snow falling orange firework light falling into frozen wheat fields frozen rice fields a life melts into the light of this world now, in the year of horse, yang, and wood we swim so you can leave it 水中的微光：黃梅，核桃溪 ——致潘國(guó)東 爸， 你今天將離開我們 我睜開眼睛游泳時(shí)有這種感覺 在晃動(dòng)的黃光中 我陪伴你的靈魂 游到不同的藍(lán)接觸的那條橫線 我們沒有你母親的照片 我從未見過 她的面容 但是我感覺到她和我們一起 在這里，就連她的表情 也在水中 天上之天 黃光也觸及 她叫你回來 黃光說： 你為出生曾經(jīng)游向東 為進(jìn)入陰水羊年 月圓，雪正落下 煙花的橙色光落入 凍結(jié)的麥田 凍結(jié)的稻田 一條生命融入這世界的微光 現(xiàn)在，在陽(yáng)木馬年 我們一起游向光陰 你開始慢慢離去 Hua, Ha, Yu When my son was one, my mom and I took him to gardens of Suzhou In each garden, he picked up a fallen leaf and carried it in one hand, holding my hand or my mom's with his other hand As we walked through the gardens, he pointed at things, and after I said what they were, he repeated the words New words each day: Hua (flower) which he pronounced Ha Yezi (Leaf) Shitou (stone) Yu (fish) he repeated them in Chinese after I said them And everywhere we went that summer, people gave him flowers when he pointed at them and said "ha," "ha," holding the A sound as long as hua would take to say He picked up little stones and handed them to me We stood by the ponds watching koi make lines and circles in green waters We took photos in round doorways, looked through glassless windows the ancients had looked through That gray mist still the same after three days or a thousand years "Ha," "ha," he would say whenever we came to more flowers Pink lotus white lotus other flowers I couldn't name in Chinese or English At night we went to a pavilion in one garden to hear Kun opera, along with qin and guzhen performances I held my son high enough he could see over the crowd Moonlight slipped between willow branches onto our skin Years later, the day after I was raped, I returned to those gardens walking with a friend who didn't know what had happened, but who months later said I looked like I had seen a ghost, so she wanted to take me somewhere peaceful Retracing steps I'd taken with my son, hearing his voice there in his absence and the flowers' presence Watching the fish swim in similar circles and lines that pulled the water through my son's voice Hua Ha Yu I repeated to myself and picked up a fallen leaf to carry through the round doorway where another lotus came into bloom 花，哈，魚 兒子一歲的時(shí)候，我和我媽帶他去蘇州的花園 在每一座花園，他都會(huì)撿起一片落葉 邊走，邊拿在手中 另一只手握著我的手或者我媽的手 在花園里走著，他會(huì)指著不同的東西 等我說那個(gè)東西是什么，然后跟著我說 他每天會(huì)說新的詞： 花（被他說成哈） 葉子 石頭 魚 后來，我們到任何地方都有人給他送花 因?yàn)樗钢ㄕf “哈” “哈” 花的啊聲被他拉長(zhǎng)，他說的“哈”聲跟花一樣長(zhǎng) 他也會(huì)撿起石頭，遞給我 我們?cè)诔靥吝吙唇痿~在綠水中劃線和圈 我們?cè)趫A形的門里拍照 看透古人曾經(jīng)看透的無玻璃窗 三天或者千年后，灰色的薄霧還是沒變 “哈”“哈” 每次看到不同的花他又會(huì)說 粉紅蓮花白蓮花 還有我用英文或中文都說不出名字的花 到了夜晚，我們?cè)谕ぷ酉掠^看 昆曲、古琴、古箏的演奏 我抱著兒子，好讓他看得更清楚 月光從柳枝間流到我們的皮膚上 多年后，被強(qiáng)奸后第二天，我又回到那些花園 跟一個(gè)不知道發(fā)生的一切的朋友一起走 幾個(gè)月后，她說那天我的表情跟見過鬼似的 所以她想帶我去一個(gè)平靜的地方 追隨曾經(jīng)跟兒子一起走過的腳步 在他的缺席和花的顯現(xiàn)中聽到他的聲音 看魚在相似的線和圈里游泳 它們讓水穿過我兒子的聲音 花哈魚 我反復(fù)跟自己說 并撿起一片落葉 我拿著它走過那圓形的門 在那里，又一朵蓮花盛開 on the mesa the third time you awaken face down, daylight loose sand touching forearms touching shins hip bones protruding into stone a man memorizes the wind exhales each gust along your spine desert summer arm across your breast wind chimes, wind chimes we all fall down face down daylight touching sand the prayer is to kneel with the face in the sand to use the palms to scoop sand to splash the face with it to rub the arms with it dry until your tears summon summer rain wet now, rub the earth on your cheeks again rub the earth on your arms again as he breathes the wind across you exhale all the mesa colors back into his skin 在平頂山上 你第三次醒來 臉朝下，日光強(qiáng)烈 散沙 觸摸著前臂 觸摸著小腿 髖骨凸進(jìn)石頭中 一個(gè)男人背誦風(fēng) 沿著你的脊椎，把背下的每一陣呼出 沙漠那夏天的臂彎 環(huán)繞你的乳房 風(fēng)鈴，風(fēng)鈴 我們都倒下 臉朝下 日光觸摸著沙礫 這祈禱是： 跪下，在沙上磕頭 用手掌 舀起沙粒 把它潑在臉上 把它搽在胳膊上 干燥直到你的眼淚召喚夏雨 濕潤(rùn)了， 再把土搽在臉上 再把土搽在雙臂上 當(dāng)他的呼吸吹過你 把山頂所有的顏色 吹進(jìn)他的皮膚 Water Spider Scurries Over Sandstone For Rainy Dawn Ortiz Your dad and I stand beside the creek where water from the sacred well runs along conglomerate stone canyon walls As he prays, I notice tiny ripples here and there as the feet of water spiders step across the surface of the sacred Grandmothers and Grandfathers, he begins his prayer Asking for protection and guidance for all our relations Amoo-uh,* he says before translating: Beloveds The spiders step across his prayer as it lands on the water’s surface Above them, the white sycamore stretches as far as they can see, yellow leaves accentuate a sky without clouds At the end of the prayer they spread cornmeal onto the earth Walk over to lean their faces on the cool white sycamore bark This is how the world continues This is how we go on He says ~ ~ ~ That night before falling asleep under the quilt of stars, your dad smiles as he remembers you asking for stories when you were young, “You’re supposed to say once-a-ponce-a-time, Daddy” she always said, He smiles with his eyes closed, vividly seeing you “She was such a beautiful young girl, Now she’s a beautiful woman” She is, I say As this same memory returns to be shared on so nights ~ ~ ~ Some nights he sings the horse song He made up for you About horses everywhere Horses in all colors and sizes One of so many songs he used to make up And still makes up now “She always loved the songs I sang for her,” He says with a smile of love ten thousand years deep ~ ~ ~ You text me a photograph of your partially completed medallion A sketch of a spider, already beaded And a background with beaded corners and blank spaces “ The background has me stumped, you write , So I show your dad and he immediately says, “Yellow might not be a bad idea.” “I will check that out tomorrow. I like that idea, you say “I was going to do a patchwork of buttery browns but I might add yellow as well.” The next day you send a photograph of yellow and brown beads stitched to form sandstone lines Attached together with your hands Stories and centuries, images passed down Created wholly new Weeks later, when your dad surprises me with the medallion, you text that you hope it brings me good energy and love ~ ~ ~ I smell sacred medicinal tea on the deer leather backing Think of you taking medicine, spending days in chemo, trying to fight the cancer growing in your abdomen Beaded through those days and months are the colors of your strength, gentleness, creativity and love Stitching through pain, frustration, your mostly silent, occasionally worded, suffering You make each day in beauty Beloved Mother, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, poet, artist, and more Remembering Creating ~ ~ ~ Water spider steps across sandstone Steps across pools of July rain This is the way the world continues This is the way we go on *Amoo-uh means beloved or loved one in Keres 水蜘蛛在砂巖上疾走 ——致Rainy Dawn Ortiz 你爸和我站在清溪旁 神泉水沿著礫巖峽谷流淌 當(dāng)他祈禱時(shí)，我注意到 某些地方泛起微小的漣漪 一旦水蜘蛛走過神圣的表面 他開始祈禱：“爺爺奶奶， 外公外婆，請(qǐng)護(hù)佑并指導(dǎo)所有 與我們有關(guān)系的眾生。Amoo-uh*” 然后他翻譯成英文：“親愛的你們” 蜘蛛們跨過他的祈禱，同時(shí) 他的祈禱也落到水面上 我們的頭頂上，一顆白梧桐樹 一直延伸到我們目力能及的地方 黃葉凸顯出一片無云的天空 祈禱結(jié)束，他們把玉米粉撒到地上 走過去，把臉貼在清涼的白梧桐樹皮上 世界就是這樣繼續(xù)下去 我們就是這樣持續(xù)下去 他說 晚上，在星星的毯子下 你爸微笑著，說起你小時(shí)候 讓他給你講故事：“爸爸， 你應(yīng)該說‘從前很早很早以前’ 她總是說，他閉著眼睛微笑， 鮮明地看到你， “她以前是個(gè)這么美的小姑娘， 現(xiàn)在她是個(gè)這么美的女人” 是的，我說 這同一個(gè)記憶又被我們說起 有的夜晚，他會(huì)唱“馬歌” 他自己給你編的歌： 到處都有馬，到處都有馬， 各種顏色，大小不一的馬…… 他現(xiàn)在還在編歌 "她一直喜歡我給她唱的歌" 他笑容里的愛有千萬(wàn)年的深度 你給我發(fā)一張你未完成的皮革作品 蜘蛛的素描，已經(jīng)上串珠了 背景角落還有空白的地方 “背景目前把我難住了，”你寫道， 我給你爸看完后，他馬上說： “哇塞！也許用黃色會(huì)不錯(cuò)” “我明天試一試”，你寫道， “我本來想用各種奶油般的褐色 來拼圖，不過，我也許會(huì)加黃色” 第二天，你發(fā)給我的照片里 有黃色和褐色的珠子 縫在一起，構(gòu)成砂巖的線條 這些都由你的雙手拼在一起 不同的故事與世紀(jì)，傳統(tǒng)的 意象，重新被創(chuàng)造 過幾個(gè)星期，你做的徽章 是你爸給我的驚喜，你希望 它會(huì)給我?guī)碚芰颗c愛 我聞到皮革背襯上神圣的藥茶味， 想起你吃藥，每隔兩周去做化療， 努力對(duì)抗腹部里一直生長(zhǎng)的癌， 串過那些日子和月份的顏色 來自你的力量、溫柔、創(chuàng)造和愛 度過疼痛、挫折，還有你的沉默， 偶爾說出的痛苦，你繼續(xù)縫著， 在美中創(chuàng)造每一天 親愛的母親，外婆，女兒，孫女， 詩(shī)人，藝術(shù)家，還有更多…… 每天你都在 記住 創(chuàng)造 水蜘蛛走過砂巖 走過七月的雨池 世界就是這樣繼續(xù)下去 我們就是這樣持續(xù)下去 *Amoo-uh，美洲阿科瑪語(yǔ)“親愛的”的意思。 Pine 1 He lies beneath the pine, his eyes shut, telling stories She’s gazing at the blue sky the pine needles have divided into hundreds of windows listening to him tell about former lovers and wives The waves aren’t big or small, a kind of persistent beating， the persistent appearance of foam She wants to be the lover he loves most just like his former lovers did Seagulls and sparrows fly silently past the pine-sky windows Two trees lean into each other One slowly spreads wide The other is narrow, exerting its strength to grow upward 2 Get up, take off your dress Jump into the ocean The sea turtles you’re looking for aren’t here today A man sits on a stone watching you You swim to a place he can’t see you In this sea, you are the sky 3 green blue green blue green blue green blue the wind’s tongue licks and licks again * inspired by Zhu Keran’s painting of the same title 松 一 他們躺在松樹下，他閉上眼睛，講一些故事 她注視被松針分成幾百個(gè)小窗戶的藍(lán)天 聆聽他回憶以前的情人和前妻 海浪不大不小，一種持續(xù)的拍打， 泡沫不斷地呈現(xiàn) 她希望做為他一輩子最愛的情人 像他以前的情人一樣 海鷗和麻雀無聲地飛過松·天窗 兩棵樹互相依靠 一棵慢慢擴(kuò)展 另一棵窄窄的，使勁往上長(zhǎng) 二 起來，把裙子脫了 跳進(jìn)大海里 你尋找的海龜 今天不在這里 一個(gè)男人從石頭上看你 你游到看不到他的地方 在這片海里，你就是天空 三 綠藍(lán)綠藍(lán)綠藍(lán)綠藍(lán) 風(fēng)的舌頭舔再舔 *此詩(shī)是從朱可染同名的畫得到靈感 February Orioles When my questions or my answers make you doubt if you're enough loving enough, gentle enough, understanding enough I wish my words were sticks and I could make a nest with holding places at just the right angles where you could land and your feet could rest and your whole body relax or my words made a cupped bowl in its center where you could lie and just be you alive breathing you in beauty you The oriole flew onto the branch above me not questioning its place just landing there silent in the blue sky made vivid by the sun Here we are calling, silent, calling, silent Du Fu's orioles calling from the willow as the butterflies dance and flitter Mine came silent to the bare oak tree Being just being alive alive Just being Little suns weaving yellow 二月的黃鸝 當(dāng)我的問題和答案 讓你懷疑你是否足夠好，懷疑你是否 充滿愛心，足夠溫柔，富有同情心 我希望我的詞語(yǔ)會(huì)化成枝條 讓我為你制造一個(gè)鳥巢，在適合讓你棲息的角度 帶有包容處 你的腳在那里能休息全身放松 你活著你在呼吸在美之中 黃鸝飛到我上面的樹枝 不懷疑它的位置，只在那里棲息 沉默于一片在陽(yáng)光下顯得更鮮明的藍(lán)天 我們?cè)谶@里 呼叫，沉默，呼叫，沉默 杜甫的黃鸝在柳樹呼叫著 這里的黃鸝沉默著來到一顆赤裸裸的橡皮樹 存在，只存在 活著活著存在 小小的太陽(yáng)正在編織黃色 refuge another horizon cicada wings, cornflower blue evening this horizon magpie wings, baby blue morning we tread words convergence in words thunder-skinned fire-inspired colors replenish humbled whirls: i we mystical light song light buzzing, clacking black two skies blue 避難所 另一個(gè)天際 蟬的翅膀，矢車菊藍(lán)色的傍晚 這里的天際 喜鵲的翅膀，嬰兒藍(lán)色的早晨 我們踏出 詞語(yǔ) 集合 于詞語(yǔ) 皮膚像雷 追隨火 色彩補(bǔ)充 謙遜的回旋： 我我們 神秘的光 詩(shī)歌的光 嗡嗡響的，噼啪響的黑色 兩片天空同時(shí)藍(lán) Half Moons He held up his half-eaten sugar cookie and proudly said: Look, Mommy! A giant half-moon. We sat on the swing together looking at a yellow half-moon in a midnight blue sky. He asked why the sun needs to sleep, and why the sun and the moon cannot sleep together. Tonight, he closes his eyes as soon as the two sides of his story fold shut. I see two little half-moons resting above curled lashes, black as the air outside. I breathe in, knowing I cannot die—not here, not tonight. He is still so young. I feel his chest rise and fall, bones expanding, contracting like stars adjusting to changes in light. 半月 他把甜餅舉起來 自尊地說： 媽媽，看！巨大的半月 我們坐在秋千上 望著黃色的月亮 在湛藍(lán)的天空中他問 為什么太陽(yáng)需要睡覺 為什么太陽(yáng)和月亮 不能睡在一起 今晚他閉上眼睛 在他的故事兩邊 被折疊起來 我看兩個(gè)小小的半月 休眠在卷曲的睫毛 像外面的空氣一樣黑 吸氣進(jìn)來知道 我不能死——這兒也不，今晚 也不他還如此小 我感覺到他的胸部一起一伏 肋骨伸縮就像星辰 調(diào)整著光的變化 In Chengdu, Reading He Xiaozhu’s Poem, Thinking of Li Shangyin Lotus in the pond unfold one by one in faint thunder beyond the pond an inch of language breaks open a cloud in spring a woman born in the year of the tiger misses a boy born with jade in his mouth How easily the east wind blows together lines, stories from different dynasties different places How your longing stays with me How I burn even in clouds barely yellow with dawn’s first light Sing to me the song you sing to Wren Boy: “The gold toad gnaws at the lock, burning incense enters” Let the gold toad gnaw open the moonlight we keep locked inside Days ago in Guandong’s April, fog set in among banyan trees Guanyin there, a figure in the mist A woman, a man kneeling before her incense burning in their hands praying in misty rain Guanyin stood blurred on the lotus one hand resting on her chest one hand reaching for the sky 在成都，讀何小竹的詩(shī)，想起李商隱 芙蓉在池塘里一朵朵卷開 “芙蓉堂外有輕雷” 一寸語(yǔ)言 破開一朵云在春天 屬虎的女人想念那個(gè)出生時(shí)銜玉的男人 東風(fēng)多么容易把不同朝代 不同地方的詩(shī)行和故事吹到一起 你的渴望如何長(zhǎng)伴于我 我又如何燃燒在那尚未變黃 的曉云中第一縷光里給我唱那首 你唱給鷦鷯男孩的歌 “金蟾嚙璅燒香入” 讓金蟾嚼開我們鎖在體內(nèi)的月光 昔日，在廣東的四月份，薄霧落到榕樹之間 觀音在那里，霧中之體 一個(gè)男人，一個(gè)女人跪在觀音前面 雙手中拿著香，在蒙蒙雨下祈禱 觀音朦朧地站在荷花上 一只手靠在胸前 一只手伸向天空（本刊所有作品均獲作者授權(quán)）

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詩(shī)人Jami Proctor Xu：伴你的靈魂游到不同的藍(lán)

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